Time is on my side

Time is fleeting

Time's awastin'

The clock is ticking

I got no time

Passing by me

running out

the hours waning

I got no time

I had an epiphany on my run yesterday. That happens so often, especially when I run on the Centennial Trail. Maybe I should just call them "centennialisms".

My centennialism had to do with time. I think I am not unique when I say that I feel the pressure of time - too much to do, not enough time to do it, years passing by me, not enough accomplished. There's always the press of time, a constant adversary.

I had the thought that time is a lot like the hot and cold air pockets we run through in life. It simply is - it is neutral. My perception of it is what is positive or negative. Then my choices reflect that perception and what I experience in life is the consequence of those choices.

I was cleaning the other day. Not my favorite way to spend time, so whenever I clean, my attitude is to "get it done, get it done, get it done", always feeling the pressure of knowing that getting the one chore done will lead to another and another and another because it really never CAN BE DONE. The consequence to this grim thinking? I never feel that I clean as well as I would like because of the pressure to MOVE ON so therefore I don't even have the satisfaction of enjoying the chores that I DO get done. While cleaning the laundry room floor, I decided to do it differently, focusing only on what I was doing at the moment - and doing it well. It sounds silly, but I actually enjoyed it.

The last few months I've struggled in the studio. I feel the need to study the nuances of pigment and paper properties so I thoroughly understand them and make intelligent decisions of my own. I started this process last summer, but took short cuts and left my understanding incomplete. What colors do I really LOVE to work with? What kind of paper do I really like that will give me the results that I am looking for? I don't want to listen to other people; I want to figure it out for myself once and for all.

Problem?

Time - It's running out. I wish I'd done this years and years and years ago.

Time - I won't have anything to show for this work - no beautiful paintings or prints. I can't afford to waste this time.

But I can't afford not to.

Stalemate.

This is the point where I had my centennialism. Time is. I can grimly fight it, frustrated and enjoying nothing, or I can make the best choices that I can to get the results I want, and then relax and focus on what is in front of me.

So, my friends - here is what I have been working on in the studio:

And here is a beautiful creation that landed on my front porch through no effort of mine other than just to notice it:

I like time being on my side.